68 notes • Reblog 
7 months ago - 91,744 notesMan talks to turkeys
Genuine human happiness right there.
brrruururururuururururur
My sides hurt from laughing so hard.
IT’S BACK YES
in the shower
7 months ago - 363,332 notes
- me:that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
- me:yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
- me:why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
- me:i'ma read the back of this.
- me:lather, rinse, repeat?
- me:why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
- me:hold up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
- me:if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
- me:eheheheheheheheheheh.
- me:but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
- me:did i already wash my hair?
- me:i think i did but i don't remember.
- me:i'ma do it again.
- me:I REPEATED.
- me:well played, pantene pro-v. WELL PLAYED
- me:i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
- me:i bet it's awkward.
- me:i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
- me:okay time to get out.
- me:
- me:
- me:where is my towel.
